WOAH JOY WOAH!

        I am sitting at the Banyan Tree cafe in the dusk of the night listening to live worship from passionate Ywamers. What more could I ask for? But to be surrounded by Holy Ghost fire seeking young adults. I honestly don't even know where to begin on catching y'all up, considering it's been a while since I've posted, my apologies.
Basically ever since the pure heart week I told y'all about, I'd been struggling with temptations even stronger than before I had given them to God. It was like a attack of the enemy as soon as he saw I was putting up a fight. I was constantly tired, weary, groggy, struggling with my thoughts and desires for past behaviors and habits.
         Specifically--last Friday I was being tempted big time with these things. I was just weighed down, dry, and hopeless. All day was a struggle to conquer my flesh and by come the night I was ready to just give in when the Lord reminded me of a worship night that was happening on campus. I felt I needed to go, though that was the last place I wanted to be after feeling just gross.
It came 8:30pm when the worship time began, I closed my eyes and God spoke to me to just give a little and He would take it and run. So I entered into worship and prayer and before I know it it's 2am and I'm on my face experiencing the Holy Spirit in such a tangible way.
I went to the worship nights Saturday and Sunday following this night and God began to use me to pray for others as well. It felt so good and I could feel that fire begin to spark again!
Monday, I had a great day. Even though I got no sleep over the weekend from work and staying up in the night worshiping, I was more than energized. The Lord is awesome.
         Now here's where things get WILD--Tuesday, yesterday. Specifically last night in the prayer room. I wish I knew the words to describe to you what took place in those 3 hours of worship...I'll try my best.
It all started with us making a human "Joy Tunnel". You know- where people run through it and the Joy of the Lord knocks them out and everyone gets drunk in the spirit, no big deal, right? No. It was freaking crazy. I was at the beginning of the tunnel praying/touching people who went through. The Holy Spirit came over me and as soon as I would lay my hand on people, or even motion toward them they would fall over in laughter and deep joy. Some would go into what looked like a seizure...rolling around, screaming, laughing, kicking, falling over, Holy Spirit DRUNK. He kept filling me the rest of the night. It was like God and I partnered up. He would tell me exactly who to go pray for or touch and HE would work His magic.
         It was hilarious! God told me to touch one of my friends, and when I did--she fell over in laughter. Then He told me to help her back up and touch her stomach again. Every time I did this she would fall over again and again and again. He did this to several people with me. God has a sense of humor!
         People have prophesied JOY over me....but I'll be honest...I wasn't expecting this! I was thinking He would use me to simply make a person smile or laugh. But no there's so much more! Like literally people experiencing the Joy of the Lord DEEP in the pits of their stomaches and hearts that over takes their beings and overwhelms their souls. WOAH! *Heidi Baker head-whip and voice*.
         God spoke to me while all this was breaking out. The first thing I kept hearing over and over in my head was "Finally!". In a relieved breathy happy voice. God was saying He was so happy He could finally use me in the way He'd been waiting to, there was such a sense of relief. Also, He said that if I hadn't of listened to Him when He told me to wear leggings under my shorts that night He couldn't have used me to the fullest because the lack of complete modesty would have been a barrier. Especially since I was all over the place, holding people up, and falling over myself. He also said "This is just practice. A glimpse of what I have for you coming. This is how I want to use you". God was also telling me the whole time not to be afraid. Just go to the people He says to go to, do what He says, and HE will do the rest. And boy did He! Who knew God could use someone like me? I didn't....Until now!
       It's funny how God will meet us where we're at. For me--in a state of hopelessness, confusion, temptation, and weariness. What a magnificent, powerful, mighty, victorious, loving, joyful God we serve. I never want the spirit to leave me after I've experience Him in this deep and passionate way. My heart is whole and my mind is set on the things of Christ. I will continue to face temptation because by choosing the Lord I have immediately made myself an enemy of Satan. As long as I stay rightly related to God and others I will subdue evil. "The birds will fly over your head--but don't let them make a nest."

       Do you think I'm crazy yet?! If so--GOOD. Because I think I might be just that.

Goodnight all.
Xoxo †