Sometimes when you step in poop....the best thing to do is LAUGH.

Trying to blog about my experience is harder than you or I would think. To accurately describe the smells, the sights, the sounds, the heat....it just can't be done. Human and dog feces everywhere, not a rubbish bin in sight. Just drop it on the ground and let it pile up. And the roads.....dirt. No comforting yellow lines determining what side of the road you drive on...it's a game of bumper cars meets go cart racing. Yellow taxis, rickshaws, motorcycles, bikes, wagons, and cows fill the roads--trying to dodge them is the tricky part.

We have been working with Life Connection, a children's restoration home for the past week and next 3 weeks. There is where several of the children who live in the Howrah train station will come in the day time to get bathed, clothed, and fed food and the word/love of God. Howrah is the largest train station in India, over 10million people pass through it each day. Hundreds of homeless children live there. They are there because either their parents didn't want them, or they ran away from home. Nearly all of them use glue on a daily basis to get high. And when I say children--I mean I saw a 5yr old getting high sucking on glue the other day....it's heartbreaking. They sleep on the ground near the tracks and work for their so called "uncle" who uses the children to beg, collect empty soda bottles, or do a number of other things. He collects the money from them at the end of each day. Ever seen the movie slum dog millionaire?? This is it, it's all real and even worse than the movie portrays and I'm seeing it in front of my eyes. About 8-12 children actually come to Life Connection each day. The reason so little is because most of them aren't aloud to leave the station. There are both little girls and boys who work and live at Howrah, but we only see boys coming to Life Connection. The reason is because girls are in more demand from the "uncles", so they won't let them leave....it's awful. Everyday half of us work at Life Connection, and the other 3 will go to Howrah to talk to the children and also try to get them to come. We switch off every other day. When I look at the kids arms, they are covered in scars and cuts, most of them infected. I asked the translator what they're from, and he said they use a razor and cut themselves. They're so miserable and have lost their childishness. I would have NEVER thought to cut myself at age 6 and younger...I was climbing trees and being a KID. Just like these precious ones should be. My heart aches.

Comic relief: Tuesday when I was working at Life Connection, We had a movie in for the kids to watch. So we were all sprawled out on yoga mats watching Mr.Beans. I accidentally fell asleep. (bad idea in a room full of mischievous orphan boys!) I woke up to 1 little boy (the smallest of the bunch) tying my hands and feet together with a rope, and 2 others pouring cups of water on my face!!! Let's just say I'm use to living in a house of girls where I'd more likely wake up to them braiding my hair--NOT by any means this. But I loved it, so nice to see them being kids...even if it was at my expense;).

Yesterday at life connection I taught the Daniel in the den of lions story to the boys. It was so fun! I made my teammates act out the story for me improv style so it was quite hilarious. And I got the kids involved by having them act as the lions. Afterwards, we played an exciting game of duck duck goose that in a room full of boys only lead to a game of tackle! It was an exciting day that come night fall put each of us on our pillows in no time.

When I see these children eating the rice we feed them like it could be their last meal and hugging on my leg like they've never been noticed it breaks my heart. These are the moments that make walking in over 100degree humid weather worth it. These are the moments that make cold bucket showers and spicy food worth it. These are the moments that make sleeping on a mat on the floor in a hot musky room and over 144 mosquito bites all worth it!

The kids only come to Life Connection Monday-Thursday because Fridays we and the staff fast through breakfast to pray, intercede and worship till lunch. And after that we deep clean the building until the afternoon where we have a small nap time. Yes, nap time! I love it. And at 4:30pm we go to Howrah to visit the kids and do prayer walks around the building. Basically spiritual warfare praying over the place. So that's what we did today, it was good.

I'm learning so many lessons from my experience so far. The obvious are thankfulness and willingness. Being thankful for food, shoes, water, etc etc etc... Being willing to clean a toilet, bucket wash clothes, and mop floors that you know will be dirty again in no time.

To die to myself. This is my ultimate goal. To come to the end of me. I don't want to be so focused on me me me and what can "I get" from people and things. I want to become more selfless. I want to be giving. I want to be more like Jesus.

But it's not been easy. Somedays I just want to give up and go home to be transparently honest. Sometimes all I want is my family, home, and comforts of my Western first world country life. The scripture that has kept me going most, is James 1:2-4 which clearly states; "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything". You hear that?? Consider it PURE JOY. So this means when I'm hot tired and fatigued I should have JOY?? Yes. That's exactly what it means. And I'm finding day by day that when I find the positive and bring joy into these tough situations--the frustrations of my day actually dissipate. I encourage you to try it! Seriously-- how can you stay angry when telling a joke or finding something to smile or laugh at!? For example, the other day I was frustrated and tired and we'd been walking in the heat a good amount of time when I didn't notice the large patty of fresh poop a step in front of me. What happened next? SPLASH. My foot landed right in it!! Just when I thought things couldn't get worse. So all I could do is laugh. And the more I laughed, the more happy I got and suddenly the attitude left. :)

Fun testimony: last night Laura and I were in our room when lightning struck and the power went out in the whole city! And when the power goes out--our only source of air (the fan) goes off. So we immediately do a dramatic yell of agony falling to our knees already feeling the sweat dripping off our brows. Laura sighed and said a simple prayer like this: "Papa, please turn the electricity back on because it's so hot". The very second she finished it turned back on!!! We looked out the window and our room was the only place where it had turned back on. SO COOL. God cares about the little things and it doesn't matter how elaborate or spectacular our prayer. We literally had the faith smaller than a mustard seed and He took that and answered the prayer. Our chins dropped to our chest and eyes popped out of their sockets. I'm still amazed.

Anyways. I am definition exhaust. Can't wait for our free day tomorrow! I have so much laundry to catch up on. I write on this blog mostly for myself to get all the thoughts and feelings OUT from deep within me and also for others to be encouraged by what God is teaching me and doing! What He does is not for me to keep to myself.

Please continue to pray for us and the people of India we are reaching here! Now that you know some of the situations you can pray more specific. Also--today I found out that Kolkata (the city I'm living in for a month) is the most dangerous city in all of India. So comforting;). But I'm not worried one bit--God's Angels are watching over us and I can feel them with me. I can also feel the comfort of your prayers.

Many blessings from India!! -Maceface


The pictures:
Me and Laura in a taxi going to church last Sunday.

Our building security guard sleeping as always. He makes us feel super safe;).

Some of the kids on the floor watching Mr.Beans!

Some of my team hanging in our apartment last night. About to play some card games. :)

Me on the roof trying to get some sun during rest hour today! Ha

Enjoy! Xoxo

Outreach: the beginning

Here we are. 3 weeks in. Things are so different here in India. From culture and religion to food and daily life. Everything in the culture is of the religions. The way they dress, the food they eat, and the way they go about survival is to appease the "Gods" and that is the culture. I look out the window on the second floor of this ministry house and see a woman wrapped in a sari carrying a bucket of water on her head and a thousand clothes lines hooked from house to house working as dryers. Everywhere we go people look at us as if aliens just landed from another planet. The children and adults are so curious of our every move as if we are some kind of celebrity....the "pale faces".
Despite the spicy food that fails to settle in our fragile Western stomachs and the boiling heat with a lack of A/C...we are adapting quite well. It's now been 3 weeks, but I feel like I've been here much longer. This morning me and 3 others from my team walked several miles to a pre-school where we assumed we were just going to observe/help out, and it turned out they were waiting for US to teach and run the class! So we sheepishly step into this school made out of tin and logs, to find the most beautiful little Indian children sitting on benches in blue checkered uniforms. The teacher came up to us and said "you teachers!". So we all looked at each other to see who wanted to think of something on the spot. So as a team we decided to teach them 2 Christian songs with dance motions and do a prodigal son skit. After that they asked we teach them "more school". So I jumped up and pulled Renae up there with me and we taught them how to say body parts in English and other simple sciences. Then we taught them the "head shoulder knees and toes" song and added lots of improv to it. All Glory to God He spoke through the 2 of us and gave us lots of ideas and the children loved it! After playing some memory games, we prayed over the children and fed them a snack of dhal and what seemed to be grits. When school was over 2 of the children ran outside and brought us back freshly picked flowers to show their gratitude. I was so blessed. The children are so sweet and it was well worth the long hot journey by foot.
Tons has happened in the past few weeks it would be impossible to tell all the stories. But I can give a bit of an overview of some of the things we've been doing everyday...
When we were in Lonavala for 2 weeks we did mostly house ministry where we would go into stone hut villages and hold bible studies on the floors of their small crowded homes. We would do several a day and all take turns leading worship, sharing testimonies, and give a message. At the end we pray for them all and lay hands on them. We had a translator, praise the Lord.
Holding the hand of a hindu woman and having the privilege to pray for her in Jesus name was a huge blessing for me. I can feel something move inside of me every time we touch or hug. I can see the desire burning in their eyes to know more about our one God who loves them and can provide for and heal them.
There was one home we went to and the mother and her 2 children were sick in bed. They were running high fevers and looked how I'm sure they felt. We laid hands on them and prayed for healing in Jesus name. We then left and did some street ministry. Later that night Renae and I ran back to that woman's hut to see if they were feeling any better. When we walked in, the mother was on her feet walking around and bright eyed! Both children who had been sick in bed were running around playing and laughing as if they were never ill just a few hours previously. We didn't have a translator, and I don't speak but very basic Hindi, so we just played a game of charades to communicate. We stayed a while and fellowshipped with them. I couldn't believe my eyes and how well they looked!! God truly did a healing miracle that day. I am so thankful.
His handiwork is everywhere we go and I can feel His Angels protecting us as we roam the streets.
This is just the beginning! We have over 2 months left...I can't wait to see what's going to happen next! We are just taking it a day at a time and every morning the 7 of us on my team sing worship and pray together. It's the only way to start the day off right and adjust our hearts and attitudes in these stretching situations. I love every person on my team! We were definitely put together by God. Sarah, Jordan, Cristy, Renae, Joseph, Laura, and myself. Each of us bring something unique and all of our gifts are coming out and God is growing each of us in the areas need be. Everyday we wake up to the Muslim mosque down the street singing in a projector that echoes through the whole city throughout the day and late hours of the night. We are right smack in the middle of spiritual battle and that is why it is so important we as a team are prayed up before we leave the house everyday. We heard several stories from a local Christian pastor last night of the daily persecution him and his family go through on a daily basis for their beliefs. Even so extreme that if they pass certain buildings people will throw rocks and chase them down with sticks because of their conversion to Christianity.
My eyes are taking in more than my mind can process. Seeing people on the dirt roads with missing limbs such as no legs and crawling on their bare hands through the dirt and trash. There is so much corruption my heart almost can't bare the things we whiteness just walking to the market or simply watching out my 2nd floor window.
We will be here in a small village in Calcutta (unsure of exactly where we are) until the end of this week and then we will move to the House of Revival rescue unit about 2hrs away and help out there until mid-may. Then we plan on moving to Bihar by train for other ministry opportunities until we leave late June and begin our journey back to Hawaii. That is where all 6 different teams from our school that went to different countries will meet, share testimonies and spend our last week together in Kona.
Lots have happened and I can't express the gratitude I feel for each of your prayers! I can definitely feel them and Gods grace and comfort is easing me along the way. I miss home and family terribly and being able to talk on the phone or simply text them. But I'm here for this time right where God has me and I am having the time of my life serving the Lord in this part of the world. Love you all and pray God holds you in His right hand.
Blessings from India!
Xoxo

PS: below are some pics from traveling to India and long layovers in airports/some snapshots from ministry/train ride etc etc etc. Just a few from my phone. Can't upload my better camera pics till I get back and have my computer. Enjoy!

31 hours to take-off.

Greetings earthlings!
Here I am--laying on the floor in my loft overlooking the pacific ocean. (well, I can't see the ocean from here just thought it'd sound cool.) Anyways, I just finished my last bit of packing! So I'm enjoying a slice of pizza and a root beer. Trying to savor the taste as long as I can! Pretty soon it'll be rice going to my hips and curry to who knows elsewhere. All I know is in less than 31 hours I'll be on a plane to the beginning of a life changing experience. So many people have been asking me questions--so here are some answers!
How am I feeling? A cluster of excitement, butterflies, thrills, and nerves all as elephants tramping in the pit of my stomach.
Am I ready? A question to your question--can anyone really be 100% "ready" to live in a foreign country for 3 months time? All I know is that God will give us the strength to do whatever He's asked us to do if we are willing to remain obedient to Him.
What am I bringing? Medications, vitamins, sanitizing wipes, and most important of all--beef jerky.
What will we be doing in India? The first two weeks we will be running a children's VBS in Mumbai. From morning to lunch we will teach classes, then we have work duty where we will get dirty and clean stuff, then from 4-8pm we will have "outreach" where we will lead street ministries, preach in churches, and more! Then finally at the end of each day my team and I will debrief and prayer/testimony time. Our schedules are likely to change but that's just an idea of what it will be like for the first couple weeks at least.
Will I be able to keep in contact with y'all? I am hoping to catch some Internet access on my phone once every week or two so I can blog or post photos of what God's doing.
What am I doing after outreach? Idk! Who knows where God will send me next. Whether it be staffing a DTS school here in Hawaii, moving to the rivers of the amazon, doing a medical DTS in London, or move back home. There are endless possibilies and open doors. Just praying God closes the ones that are not for me. Only God knows right now! I asked Him to reveal to me what to do, but He said to just finish this first, then He'll tell me what's next when I need to know. I trust Him, no worries about the future. 😌👍
How can y'all help me? PRAYER. Pray over my team's health. Pray over our safety and traveling mercies. Pray over our friendships. Pray over the people of India that we will be in contact with. Pray that God will give us mercy and favor to the ministries and places we go. Pray for us to have supernatural energy. Pray that we will cope with the culture shock. Pray for peace, opportunities, and personally pray against the spirit of fear to be broken off of me. I want to be BOLD to be obedient. Thank you! 🙏❤


Phew- that was a mouthful. I am feeling quite emotionally and physically drained. We have been busier than ever these past couple weeks. Yet at the same time I'm STOKED. I don't even know what else to say-- the next time I post it'll be from India! I love y'all and thanks for all the prayers and support.
You're so special and appreciated.
Blessings,
Xoxo

Tik Tok Tik Tok

This week so far has been bomb! Funny-- it's only Tuesday. Our speaker, Chad Lamen from Bethel church has been lighting a fire and excitement in all of us. My health this week has been under the weather a bit, but I'm dragging myself literally out of bed (picture that) to hear this man of God impart his stories, experiences, and faith in me. Some of the stuff he's been saying is just too good for me not to share, so I'll point out some of the main things I've gotten between yesterday and today.. 

 ONE PERSON in agreement with God is enough to change a NATION. 

Fear can paralyze you and keep you from walking into your 

destiny. Fear will always knock on the door, but it's up

 to you whether or not to ANSWER the door. 

WHAT  you FOCUS ON is what you GET.

"My desire to see His face out data my desire to live." 

--> God wants to reveal Himself to you far greater than you 

desire to see Him. And it's in the outpouring that His face is REVEALED. 

Un-Forgiveness/Offense

keeps us from 

walking in our destiny. 

What people do on the outside reveals their core values. 

Man's perspective on success is results. 

But when you TAKE RISKS 

that is Heavens idea of SUCCESS. 

It's when we STEP OUT of the boat

and TAKE RISKS 

that we learn about the SUPERNATURAL

The more you GIVE 

the more you NEED to receive

that is why you have to be HUNGRY

God wants to cultivate YOUR OWN WELL 

where you can DRINK and never be THIRSTY 

We first need to encounter God 

The greatest message you will ever preach

is

YOUR OWN LIFE. 

What you EXPECT from Jesus

is what you get. 

Going after God--

we cannot care what PEOPLE THINK 

about us 

A lot of times God will give us

the OPPORTUNITY for 

BREAKTHROUGH when it's most INCONVENIENT

to see where our priorities lie

in fear of man OR breakthrough 

You don't have more authority by the 

VOLUME OF YOUR VOICE

but because JESUS

lives inside of you

We have to get to the place where

we come to the END of OURSELVES 

"Don't focus on yourself

or your insecurities

or the things you can and cannot do

Focus on ME." -God

Mindset change: What if people don't get

 healed when I pray for them?? 

No. What if they DO get healed! 

We have been preparing ourselves for outreach by taking a basic Healthcare class. As you know before we were doing the Justice Water course, so we have now finished that one a few weeks ago and began this Healthcare one. We have this class every week until we leave on March 28th. We've been learning all of the above about healthcare so we can help not only to spiritually heal people, but physically as well. Everything from education about clean water, dehydration and washing hands, to infections, diseases and sicknesses. All of the above! It's getting me excited to leave, I can't wait! The anticipation is growing and the elephants in my stomach are racing to see what God is going to do and how He will move through our team. I know God will use all 7 of us in divine ways, and each person on my team brings something different and unique to the group. 

PS- I love the Holy Spirit. He is my bestfriend. 

I have posted below some pictures from this past week. Enjoy!

So many good stories and revelations being imparted. 

Haha practice dummy, don't choke Cat! ;) 

Learning is fun. Especially since we will be doing all of this on the mission field. 

Saving a life! 

Took a while for the light to go from red to green (which means the person is now breathing). Looks like I need to hit the gym in these next few weeks;). 

The clock is ticking!!! 

Keep my team in your prayers! Also my health please- I want to be awake and alert these last few weeks I have to seek and prepare. Please pray that I stay focused and spend extra quiet time with Him. I'm afraid our schedule gets so busy that I forget or just don't feel like doing that--which I believe is most important. We have no more free weekends so our schedules are piling up with even more work and classes! One more thing--please pray we have no more complications getting our Visas! We have been having lots of trouble with the applications and are praying we get them back soon and APPROVED. We want to be sure we actually make it to India.;) 

Love and miss y'all! Blessings. 

-Xxx 

WOAH JOY WOAH!

        I am sitting at the Banyan Tree cafe in the dusk of the night listening to live worship from passionate Ywamers. What more could I ask for? But to be surrounded by Holy Ghost fire seeking young adults. I honestly don't even know where to begin on catching y'all up, considering it's been a while since I've posted, my apologies.
Basically ever since the pure heart week I told y'all about, I'd been struggling with temptations even stronger than before I had given them to God. It was like a attack of the enemy as soon as he saw I was putting up a fight. I was constantly tired, weary, groggy, struggling with my thoughts and desires for past behaviors and habits.
         Specifically--last Friday I was being tempted big time with these things. I was just weighed down, dry, and hopeless. All day was a struggle to conquer my flesh and by come the night I was ready to just give in when the Lord reminded me of a worship night that was happening on campus. I felt I needed to go, though that was the last place I wanted to be after feeling just gross.
It came 8:30pm when the worship time began, I closed my eyes and God spoke to me to just give a little and He would take it and run. So I entered into worship and prayer and before I know it it's 2am and I'm on my face experiencing the Holy Spirit in such a tangible way.
I went to the worship nights Saturday and Sunday following this night and God began to use me to pray for others as well. It felt so good and I could feel that fire begin to spark again!
Monday, I had a great day. Even though I got no sleep over the weekend from work and staying up in the night worshiping, I was more than energized. The Lord is awesome.
         Now here's where things get WILD--Tuesday, yesterday. Specifically last night in the prayer room. I wish I knew the words to describe to you what took place in those 3 hours of worship...I'll try my best.
It all started with us making a human "Joy Tunnel". You know- where people run through it and the Joy of the Lord knocks them out and everyone gets drunk in the spirit, no big deal, right? No. It was freaking crazy. I was at the beginning of the tunnel praying/touching people who went through. The Holy Spirit came over me and as soon as I would lay my hand on people, or even motion toward them they would fall over in laughter and deep joy. Some would go into what looked like a seizure...rolling around, screaming, laughing, kicking, falling over, Holy Spirit DRUNK. He kept filling me the rest of the night. It was like God and I partnered up. He would tell me exactly who to go pray for or touch and HE would work His magic.
         It was hilarious! God told me to touch one of my friends, and when I did--she fell over in laughter. Then He told me to help her back up and touch her stomach again. Every time I did this she would fall over again and again and again. He did this to several people with me. God has a sense of humor!
         People have prophesied JOY over me....but I'll be honest...I wasn't expecting this! I was thinking He would use me to simply make a person smile or laugh. But no there's so much more! Like literally people experiencing the Joy of the Lord DEEP in the pits of their stomaches and hearts that over takes their beings and overwhelms their souls. WOAH! *Heidi Baker head-whip and voice*.
         God spoke to me while all this was breaking out. The first thing I kept hearing over and over in my head was "Finally!". In a relieved breathy happy voice. God was saying He was so happy He could finally use me in the way He'd been waiting to, there was such a sense of relief. Also, He said that if I hadn't of listened to Him when He told me to wear leggings under my shorts that night He couldn't have used me to the fullest because the lack of complete modesty would have been a barrier. Especially since I was all over the place, holding people up, and falling over myself. He also said "This is just practice. A glimpse of what I have for you coming. This is how I want to use you". God was also telling me the whole time not to be afraid. Just go to the people He says to go to, do what He says, and HE will do the rest. And boy did He! Who knew God could use someone like me? I didn't....Until now!
       It's funny how God will meet us where we're at. For me--in a state of hopelessness, confusion, temptation, and weariness. What a magnificent, powerful, mighty, victorious, loving, joyful God we serve. I never want the spirit to leave me after I've experience Him in this deep and passionate way. My heart is whole and my mind is set on the things of Christ. I will continue to face temptation because by choosing the Lord I have immediately made myself an enemy of Satan. As long as I stay rightly related to God and others I will subdue evil. "The birds will fly over your head--but don't let them make a nest."

       Do you think I'm crazy yet?! If so--GOOD. Because I think I might be just that.

Goodnight all.
Xoxo †

Like a Mushroom

I wasn't going to share this for the sake of it being a "private thing God is doing in my life"... but what is a testimony if it is not shared for others to experience the healing truth as well? 

This week we are going through sessions called Pure heart week.. in my words, a no makeup spiritually emotional physically draining tear fest surgery of the heart. It has been......excruciatingly, painfully, and wonderfully freeing. We have been addressing areas in our lives that are and have been in the secret. Those private shameful sins. Also, we have been bringing up un-healed hurts from the past. One's we didn't even know were there God has been revealing. Regrets, fears, abuse, everything... 

I've learned that hiddenness is like mushrooms growing in the dark...it will just keep growing unless revealed to the light. 

I'm learning that when these painful memories and hurts journey out of us, we feel it because we've ignored it for so long. 

Crying over it is good... it brings healing, and let's it out! 

Obvious statement: We ALL have sinned. 

The definition of sin is to miss the mark. i.e.: like in a bulls eye playing darts. 

But the good thing is this: in 1 John 1:7 it says If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we're obviously lying through our teeth—we're not living what we claim. But if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God's Son, purges all our sin. (The Message Version)

MORE GOOD THINGS: When we deal with hurt and pain in our lives, we will find greater strength to resist the enemy in those areas that owned us before. 

God stops and looks at those with a broken heart.. 

God spoke to me--

He said He was always there. He was always with me. Even when cruel, painful, and wicked things happened to me. Things I couldn't have helped and things I had pretended was but a dream, a nightmare of one. He says He felt my sorrow, my burdens, my fears, my pain, and my confusion. He was with me in my closet sobbing. On my pillow weeping, crying out. He knew my loneliness and depression. He gave me freedom today. HOW? Because I spoke them out. I acknowledged that I have been hurt, and I let myself feel the hurt. To do this I had to become transparent. This was a painful process of accepting my past and letting myself become un-numb to my feelings. I confessed not only my sins but my hidden hurts to my school leader. She prayed for me, washed my hands and face, and anointed me with oil. I felt his presence immensely washing me clean, both heart and mind. 

The outcome? Freedom. 

These things are not holding me back. These experiences don't define me. I am not the names I have allowed the enemy to define me as over the past 11 years. 

I am clean. I am pure. I am sanctified. I am beautiful. I am a princess. I am loved. I am wanted. I have a purpose. I have a testimony...and I won't be ashamed to claim it. 

I am sitting in the prayer room listening to Loft Sessions by Bethel, and I couldn't be more content. It is now 11pm and I came in here over 2 hours ago. Feels like 10 minutes ago. God has given me such pure joy! It must have come with the freedom. 

I encourage you...Please.. if there are things you have kept hidden in the dark, let them out. If you don't, they will just build up over time (take it from someone who knows) and eat you away on the inside. But once exposed in the light, they will die out. Confide in someone you trust, or even your parents. I called both my parents today and shared everything with them and I feel so light and free having those things off my chest and in the open. It brought heeling and restoration. 

 

WOAH! God is good. I just want to get up and dance like a child... Maybe I will do just that! 

-xxx, goodnight. 

Loving God with all our strength

Wow! I am feeling an overdose of exhaust from today. Both physically and spiritually, but in a good way! This week we have combined classes with the fire and fragrance DTS in the ohana court. There will be a few different speakers, today we had Darlene Cunningham. And one day this week we will have HEIDI BAKER! Yes, the Heidi Baker. I'm stoked.
Here's a few pics to describe my day in a nutshell! Listened to the word, had life changing worship, made water filters under the boiling sun, more worship, and now homework! Weee what a amazing day. Tonight we had worship in the prayer room and God showed himself in a tangible way. I could feel his presence thick in the room. We couldn't help but dance and sing praises at the top of our lungs. I felt the joy joy joy deep down! What an amazing experience, and it's only Monday! Woo this week is going to be a good one.
Until next time-- XOXO

We might have finished last, but we finished strongest!! Definitely learned endurance with making these pipes today. We wanted to give up so bad, but we finished to the end! 

Working hard pumping hard. 

Let's get practical

This afternoon was our first session of justice water classes. Every week we will be learning how to build water wells and filter dirty water to be clean for drinking. This is a practical thing that we need to know so when we disperse into clean water deprived parts of the world we can teach the villages how to filter their dirty water to be sanitary for drinking. It's so simple, we used things like a pipe, sand, rocks, and a jug. More people are dying from contaminated water than in war. We learned the science of filtering water and the simplicity of how to build these filters. It felt so nice to lean something so simple yet genius that will save villages all over! Just a few simple steps and we can have clean water for these people. Next week we will get more into the building and practicing making these filters. So excited there's actually something practical I can do to help save lives!!

Growing Anticipation

TONIGHT. Tonight I had to make what seems like the most important decision of my YWAM journey. What was that decision? Where to go for outreach. For those of you who don't understand, when we students arrived here we had no clue where our mission trip options would be. They just revealed it to us tonight about an hour ago. They wrote the options on a large paper and revealed to us the options. When they did so, we were not aloud to talk to each other. They gave us 10 minutes to go pray and write down the location God tells each of us individually where to go. I wrote mine down immediately, hoping it was God giving me the unction. I will not tell y'all till Monday night what I wrote down, because nothing is set in stone till then.
Maybe keep me in your prayers this weekend... and if God speaks anything to you please feel free to share.  I am confident in the place I chose, and know that wherever God sends me it will be life changing. I'm so excited to find out which of my friends will be in my team.. I won't know till Monday night for sure who all will be going to the same place as me! It's a growing anticipation for this weekend. I'm not sure I will get much sleep tonight. But Lord know I need it because we have work duty at 6am tomorrow morning! We'll have to work in the kitchen for 5 hours on Saturday and 5 on Sunday. But other than that, my weekend will be mostly full catching up on homework, mandatory journal entrees, and mandatory reading assignments. I say mandatory, but I'm hoping to enjoy these books and writing reports on them.

PHEW! That was a lot to get off my shoulders. Time for some relaxation. I think Homework and any kind of THINKING can wait till tomorrow, haha.

Today: Restoring.

How God has moved today: this morning we all brought things to class that God is moving in our hearts to burn or throw away. I wrote names of people I was choosing to forgive and areas of sin in my life I needed to get rid of on a small piece of paper. We all wrote "forgiven" across the front and threw them in the fire. Afterwards we took communion and invited the Holy Spirit to move. It was a heavy class, but a good heavy. A relieving heavy. It hurt and most of us were brought to tears trying to let these soul ties go, but God really moved in our hearts.

A little of my day: Been struggling with sinuses this week so I finally went to the store and got some goods!! Definitely going to be feeling better now. :)
I went on a walk tonight and finally found the beasts that have been baa'ing outside the window....goats! Haha too funny and lots of them.
And right now as I blog I am sitting in a sermon listening to Loren Cunningham tell us stories and preach. He is so full of wisdom, and a very good story teller.
One word to describe today: restoring

FEARLESS-JOY-LOVE

So it's now Sunday night, 8:30pm and I am just going to skip the details of earlier in my day and DIVE into the prophetic words spoken over me tonight. It all started with a huge group of my friends and I going to getting frozen yogurt at coconut grove market street. After we got yogurt about 20 of us walked along the beach and found a good spot to sit and talk. I was fellowshipping with my friends teasing each other about our many accents as usual, when 2 guys (1 middle aged and 1 around my age) I have never met before walked up to me and asked if we were apart of ywam. So it struck up a conversation between the 3 of us and I soon found out they were also apart of ywam, but a different school. They were telling me about how last night their school was prophesying over each other and they asked if they could do the same for me. Of course I was happy for them to pray for me! So they began, right there aside the beach beside on-coming traffic and tourists walking about. God immediately started speaking through them. There were many visions they got of me here are the few I remember most:

1st vision: they saw me with long dreads (yes, the awesome hair style I've always said I like) and I was "whipping" them on people. It sounds funny, but they said that as I shook my hair that the love of God was splashing on people. All kinds of people. It was like a radiating joy and love spreading through my hair.

2nd vision: they saw things in my childhood and resentments and hurts that have built up over the years. Many things that I had buried away and "forgotten" about. They literally started naming them one by one and every one of them hit the bulls eye. For example, they spoke about resentment issues, self image issues, not feeling I have anything to give, and many many many other things. They said I would start seeing myself the way God does when I look in the mirror and also healing...etc. As they did I literally felt a lifting and releasings. It was relieving. Weight I didn't even know I was carrying was lifted off. I feel like I could fly! (well, you know what I mean..)

3rd Vision: they saw the word "FEARLESS" written across my forehead. Those of you who know me very well know how spot-on that word was! I have always let fear control everything I do in life, especially when it comes to spiritual things. He said he saw me walking into "scary" places of the world and spreading God's love. And that when I left those places people would ask me if I was scared because of the dangerous people I had just come from, and I would always reply with "afraid? it didn't even occur to me to be afraid." And he said that at those places I went to I was spreading God's LOVE and JOY to the people and they were receiving it.

4th vision: they saw me holding a baby. Then they saw me laying my hands on children's heads praying over them. He said God was using me to reach, love, and spread joy to children.

5th vision: they saw Jesus literally standing in front of me right there with His hands open. Jesus was wanting me to hand everything to Him. They also heard God saying how much He loves me, and how he is not ashamed of anything I've done and that everything in my life has been for a reason. They said that God was saying how when He looks at me He feels JOY. They said they heard God saying how much he "likes" me. That God likes everything about me! Everything! Even the things I feel week in, they were saying that God was telling me I am strongest in THOSE areas... Wow!

6th vision: They said they saw God giving me direction. They said that he was showing me who I am, who I truly am. And how God was showing me my path and what I'm supposed to do with my life and His plan.

There were 3 very specific words God was speaking over me through both of them and they said they saw these words written across my forehead: 1. Fearless 2. Joy 3. Love

Reminder: These guys know nothing about me!! They have never met me, they hardly know anything about my past. I'm am seriously tripping.

We all felt the spirit so strong and I couldn't help but cry. Y'all have no idea how much this meant to me tonight, it was exactly the confirmations I was needing. God was working very deep in my heart and all at once! He was bringing out EVERYTHING and it was so overwhelming and I don't even have the words to describe what I am feeling right now. To be honest, I haven't truly felt the presence of God like I did tonight in over 4 years. I am now excited to see where God is going to take me and what's going to happen next! I am in awe of His power. Trying to let it all soak in.
Goodnight friends!

...and it’s only the beginning

Friday January 6: DAY ONE

So here I am! It’s the second day and I’ve already made Godly uplifting friends to last a lifetime. Now for remembering all over 500 names! What else could I ask for than to be surrounded by people striving for the same purpose? Yesterday, (Friday January 6) we woke up around 6:30am to walk down to the an outdoor breakfast that consisted of 3 kinds of cereal, Oatmeal, Papaya, and Greek Yogurt. A nice variety. There are several different DTS schools, and I am apart of the one called Engage. I have 42 classmates that I have grown very fond of these past few days. After breakfast yesterday, we (the 42 of us) had class until lunch time. During those few hours we did brief introductions, went over island safety rules...etc. We went to lunch together, which consisted of sticky rice, some sort of chicken potluck, and PB&J for backup. It was filling, but most of all I enjoy fellowshipping with people at meal times. Looking for people I don’t know and sitting with them is so fun. Won’t take too long till I have met everyone that way! After lunch we met back in the classrooms, which is quite a walk with lots of hills from where my room is, good for the fitness, Not for the makeup or hairdo, haha. In our evening class we had some small group time and we prayed for each other, it was very bonding and it showed me that these people from all over the world are all here for the same reason. To learn about God, grow spiritually, and make a complete U-turn from dirty old habits. We’re all growing together, and cleaning up our acts together, which means lots of accountability and up-lifting! We did this until about 4:30 when we went to dinner. For dinner we had more sticky rice, chicken, and PB&J. After dinner we had the Hawaiian welcoming ceremony held in the outdoor covered arena sort of thing, where they presented all the flags of the countries represented here. You wouldn’t believe all the different cultures I am living with! There are people literally from everywhere, I love the diversity! At the ceremony, they also had hula dancers perform, and a man dancing with fire! After all the excitement of introducing us to their culture, Lauren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM got up and spoke about the founding and building of the campus and program. We ended the ceremony with heart-throbbing worship. After this, a few of my new friends (Saida, Destiny, Ben, and Ricky) and I walked to the nearest Walmart, my pepper spray in hand at all times, haha. It was about a mile up-hill, we had a good bonding time. After picking up a few necessities we walked back in the rain and stopped by the outdoor market-place on our way back to campus. We looked around and the sat by the water and listened to the waves for a moment. It was dark out, but still breath-taking. Saida is one of my 6 roommates, and we made it back to our room a little after midnight. But it felt much later keeping in mind the 5 hour time difference. Needless to say, I crashed on my pillow almost immediately. And that was the end of the first, very long yet exciting first day!!

Saturday January 7: DAY TWO

I woke up with morning around 5am due to the jet lag, so I laid in bed and rested until 7. We went to breakfast and waited in the longest line I have ever seen, luckily it moved pretty quickly. After a short breakfast my class met up and went on a scavenger hunt! We broke up into teams of 6 and were given a list of 19 pictures to take at different places in creative ways. I had a blast! My team was awesome, we had 5 girls and 1 luck guy;). So basically we had some pretty fun a goofy stuff on our list, for example-- take a picture of the whole group IN the campus fountain, a picture jumping off the pier into the water, and climbing a tree..etc. It was so fun, but very hot! I’m hoping I got a little sun on my negative vitamin-D skin. We finished our game at 12:30 and went back to our rooms for a little free time. I took a refreshing shower, although the power went out while I was in there, of course! My class met again at 4pm to go grill-out on the beach!! Thess few days have been fun and full, but I know starting Monday things will get more intense and even crazier! It’s just the beginning of a long spiritual journey that I am so blessed to be apart of. I know I am where I’m supposed to be, and God is already beginning to soften my heart towards Him and bring people in my life that are in the same season as me. I couldn’t be happier.

Why am I attending YWAM?

 WHY am I attending YWAM?

     I know that I am just one person… And I honestly don’t feel I have much to give. But all I do know is that I’m broken, used, confused, and very much damaged. I do know that I want to help people and I also know that I have a calling bigger than merely focusing on “me”. And I do know that joining YWAM will help me to get my focus off me and on others. I got accepted a few days ago. When I had applied they were already full for the January team, but they prayed about it and also felt I needed to be there, so by God’s grace they pulled a few strings for me! 

Fun story—last week when I was packing up my dorm room at the University of Mary Hardin Baylor, I found a fortune cookie fortune behind the dresser. I thought it was weird considering I hadn’t eaten any Chinese food all semester! It read: “There is always time to find a new path in life”. This was comforting and sort of a unique conformation for me that it was okay to leave school and join YWAM. I had been a little nervous about it bearing in mind this will be my third year in a row to switch colleges, and thought maybe I should just settle down. But this cookie made things a lot better. ;-) 

What’s NEXT?

     I leave for the main training base in Kona, Hawaii January 5th! I will be there for three months working on my degree as well as training for the mission field. I took a sneak peak at the schedule, and they are keeping us very busy! Breakfast in the early morning, bible studies, small groups, numerous classes, and in the afternoon we will do some sort mission work on the island. After the three months, my team and I will take a three-month missions trip to a foreign country and do ministry work. I will keep you guys posted on all that is happening and where I am. I want all my friends and family to be involved in what God is doing in my life and those around me. 

How can YOU help? 

    Your PRAYERS are most appreciated. Lord knows I will need them. Being overseas for such a long time away from my family and comfort zone, your prayers and support will be most appreciated. I will post my exact address before I leave so if you’d like to help out in any way you feel led and send me letters I would love to hear from you! I enjoy hearing from my family and friends and want more than anything to stay in contact.    

Like I said, I will keep you all posted on where I am and what’s happening as often as possible! 

    

“I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light.” --John Keith Falconer